BeAwesome: #325 How to deal with conflict (Stand up for yourself)
Throughout life we find ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable. Some of us shy away from these issues and confrontations. Some of us go headfirst. And some of us have no idea what to do at all. For starters, we cannot run away every time something like this happens. At some point you need to stand up and let the person on the others side know you are not invisible. Running away is not always the best option. Sometimes you need to let others know exactly how you feel.
This is easier said then done. I know:
When you are presented with conflict here are a few reminders:
#1. Body Language
Be confident and stand tall. If someone looks at you and sees that you are afraid or scared, they will mostly likely try to eat you alive (not literally, but you get the point). When you appear weak, the individual will try to take advantage of you. Those who love conflict search for individuals who are weak so they can feel good about themselves (Sad I know). What you do is, right away, send them a message that you are not as small as they think you are. Look them right in the eye when they speak. Listen and take in everything that they say. And get ready to respond!
#2 Respond Back
You do not have to be good with words to respond in a conflict. You do not have to be a poet or writer either. It can be 3 or 4 simple words (ie. I do not agree, or that is not very nice) If you think the other individual is trying to walk over you, tell them. Tell them that they are being mean, or that they are being disrespectful towards you. These individuals hate being told what they are, so this will give you a leg up on them;-)
#3 Voice Tone & Eye Contact
Speak clear and look them in the eyes. This will show them that you are serious and not afraid. Clarity will show that you understand but disagree or feel strongly about the situation as well. Be confident in your words.
#4 End the Conversation
If it is serious, you cannot escape the conversation or conflict soon. If it is silly, and for one’s pleasure of trying to make another’s life miserable, end it fast. When you allow the conversation/conflict to go on and on and on, you leave a window of opportunity for the other individual to keep going. You are allowing them to get out what ever frustrations they have on you (most of the time these frustrations have nothing to do with you, but they just need someone to pick on). Be sharp and clear. Make it quick and show them that you have zero time for verbal abuse. See ya later grumpy!
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
From the very beginning you need to show that your feet are on solid ground. Here is some motivation. You should try it: Cooooolll Runniinnggg