If I was your Bestfriend, I’d want you Round All the Time

image

 

Do you currently have a best friend? Or someone you know you can depend on when times get tough, need a laugh or share a secret? If you want to find someone, most people have to wait or build  years of trust, commitment and understanding before this title is given. Best friends don’t magically appear in thin air (do they?). They usually come unexpected and are built on experiences you go through together.

How do you find a best friend?

What qualities do you look for?

Most children by the age of 3-5, according to AboutOurKids.com have developed an imaginary friend. Why are imaginary friends good? Well they usually do what ever you want, never talk back and disappear upon request. They also prepare you for when a “real” friend comes a long. If you have never had a best friend, practice with an imagery friend. Best friends talk back!

Finding the Right Person

It is not easy to find someone you enjoy being around, enjoy talking to and don’t mind telling stories to. Some of these experiences, that you cherish are not meant for “just” anyone. You want to share them with people you care about (just a little bit more than everyone else). Finding the right person is often the part most people don’t understand. 1. You can’t make someone into your best friend & 2. Don’t pressure them into doing so.

I have 4 really good friends. These are people I’ve shared experiences, stories and secrets with. They understand me because we’ve gone through most of these experiences together. We’ve bonded and created a trust that is unspoken. Years of ups and downs, and experiences that relied on trust and commitment have passed, and the outcome is people who I consider “best friends”.

I didn’t go looking for these people. And they didn’t go looking for me either. I strongly believe “best friends” just happen. It isn’t something you can’t sign up for, unless you’ve seen bestfriendmatch.com, a place supposedly that allows you to find your best friend. Pretty dumb if you ask me. Either way, it is going to take a lot of work to find this individual(s).

Where do I look?

Before you go out on a wild goose chase, look right in front of you. Give someone a chance to be a part of your life. And if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for, kindly show them by giving them less information and spending less time with them. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it simply means you have other things to do, and that person “should” understand that. You have every right to pick and choose who you want to share information with, or allow to enter your life (on a personal level). Never allow anyone to pressure you into doing so.

 Often people who are best friends have a variety of things in common. And sometimes they are total opposite. You can’t go walking in the park thinking you are going to find the perfect friend because you love parks. Does that make sense? No. You have to simply enjoy every encounter, and if you feel there is potential, open up a little and slowly build the trust and commitment you are looking for. WARNING: Blowing the doors off a conversation is a big no, no.  What is blowing the doors off? Giving too much personal information when not needed or asked.

What Happens When I Think They Are the One

Umm. How about ask them? May sound a little silly, but why not? At least you’ll know for sure. If they haven’t popped the question, why can’t you. The worst thing they can say is no right? Some people are too perfect to ask, will you be my friend? Better yet, will you be my best friend? When you are older it is a lot more difficult. When you are younger, you have no idea what you are doing anyways, and you could care less about the results because eventually someone will (hopefully) say yes.

Slowly give information to this individual and (IF) they share back, you have potential right away. If they do not, back off a little and see what they say next. If you still see potential, ask them a question and see if they tell you a sincere answer. If they do not, maybe they need a little more time with you to open up. Or maybe they are not the right person. Note: You can’t share information and expect information to be shared back. Most people don’t operate that way. And remember,  YOU are volunteering to share information, they never asked you to do so.

Take it slow, and ride it out. Be careful with your questions and see how they respond:

Sample questions you could use:

1. Do you have brothers or sisters?/Follow up question: What do they do for a living?

2. What do you like to do for fun? /Follow up question: Do you prefer to do this with friends or alone and why?

3. Who is the most important person in your life? Follow up question: Why?

Use this to get a feel for who the person is, and what they value in a person.

How do I ask a FRIEND out?

say-ernie-would-you-like-some-ice-cream-sherbert

You’ve finally built a relationship with your new friend and you are bored. You want to ask them to do something and you have no idea what you want to do. Before anything, friendship stuff is never usually planned. The first 2 or 3 outings are usually organized really well between the two of you. Everything else after turns into a “your going with me right?” or “I need you to come with me”. And that is what you want it to be like. Unfortunately, you end up doing things you additionally do not want to do, but more often than not you have a good time, and your friend appreciates you a little more for coming with them.

If you are looking for ideas with your new best friend here are some options:

1. Simply hang out and watch re-runs of old television shows

2. Eat ice cream/Order food and gossip (Gossip is bad, but builds relationships)

3. Make pretend you have to go on an errand to the mall or to the grocery store

4. Help babysit a little sister/brother/or animal (dogs are cute)

5. Make pretend you need help fixing something, but have it fixed before they come, offer to stay for a cup of tea or hot chocolate

Conclusion

Best friends can’t be packed and delivered to your front doorstep. If you think you can turn someone into that person you are creating a fire that is going to be very difficult to put out. Give others the time to breathe and make a decision on their own. The best friends are found through experience or surprise. Some people find friends instantly and some people need time. If you honour every conversation and interaction you have with new people, you will slowly see who you want to become closer with. With that, you have to understand that everyone you feel connected with, may not necessarily feel the same way about you. Either way, that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.

Do you have another way of making friends? How do you know someone is going to be a BFF? Contact use through Twitter: @BeAwesomenow_ca or Facebook: BeAwesomenow . We’d love to hear your response!

Until next time!

#BeAwesome

How to Survive the First Month of School

first-day-of-school

Is your first day of school coming up? Are you wondering what your new teacher is going to be like? What pair of nikes you are going to use to sway new friends? What parties and exams are you going to skip or make a priority? What sport teams are you going to watch or try out for? How close is the nearest grocery store, and can I make it in my slippers?

It is about that time of the year again, back to school! For me, that means new kids, new parents, and new desire to inspire young minds to believe in themselves and be nice to one another. The summer is gone, and it is back to the grind in the classroom for many of us around the world.

 

Let’s talk about September

What are the main concerns of an elementary student? 1. Is my teacher going to be nice 2. What do I have for recess? When I was little, every year I would wonder if my teacher was going to be nice, or if I had to watch out for the Big Bad Wolf, or did mom pack my Dunkaroos, or will I have to trade my sandwich with another classmate. As we get older, these thoughts continue to run through our heads, only in slightly different context. 1. Will I meet new friends or like my boss/or professor 2. I should have ate breakfast today/I need to pack a lunch.

September is crucial to your survival in your new setting. The first month will separate the men from the boys. The women from the girls. Your idea and perception of your new setting and experience will be fresh. Your ears will be alert and your mind and body will be focused on the task at hand. But for how long? Some of us will be entering a new school. Some of us will be going back to a similar setting after the summer holidays. Either way, September is the start of the “new” year. How do you have a great start?

 

The First Impression is Key

Don’t show up to school in hammy down’s aka hand me down’s. I am not saying go out and buy the most expensive pair of shoes or t-shirt, I am saying take care of your self and look presentable. Carol Goman writes, “that moment that stranger sees you, his or her brain makes thousands of computations: Are you someone to approach or to avoid? Are you friend or foe? Do you have status and authority? Are your trustworthy, competent, likeable, confident?

 The decision of others and whether or not they will like or even deal with you are made quickly (7 seconds). Leave a great impression and you are well  on your way to an excellent week during the first month of school. Say hello to your collages. Shake the hand of your professor or teacher. Really mean what you say when talking to new people. Do the little things that count. Put in the work early and everything else is smooth sailing!

 Keep smiling

monkey_smiling

Being a teacher, I understand what it feels like to be exhausted from smiling and shaking hands with people you typically have nothing in common with or have know desire to be long-time friends with (sounds cruel but it is true). You can’t be best friends with everyone BUT you can be a great acquaintance. People can love to be around you even though they never see you.  Just keep smiling, just keep smiling, just keep smiling, smiling, smiling. Know one said you had to be everyone’s bestie on the first day. Smile, be polite and shake hands with everyone (use sanitizer often). This again, goes with your first impression. People will always remember your first encounter. This will set you up for easier interactions down the road.

Stay ahead of the Game

In my first year of university (for lack of better word) I sucked! I flat-out didn’t know what was doing, decided to watch sports instead of study, went for walks instead of reading and ate cereal to distract me from assignments. To often we allow ourselves to fall behind. We overlook what is ahead of us, and hope that it will magically complete itself the night before

Surviving September is about Staying a head of the Game. Sure, your friends will want to party. Your boyfriend will want to cuddle. Your friends will want to hangout and chat it up, talk about stuff you necessarily do not want to talk about anyway. Than don’t do it! When you are given an assignment, start it. You don’t have to finish it, but at least look and see what you have to do to complete it. A lesson plan, prepare for the week. Heck, prepare for the month if you have the time. A project to fulfill, do the research. Get the resources and be ready to produce some quality work.

Make a list of priorities and “at least”get started before the week that they are due. We all know what it feels like when Wednesday comes along, and you have a 4000 word essay due on Auscultation and Bromhidrosis by Thursday. Yeah, I don’t know what they mean either.

Don’t allow yourself to get in this position. Force yourself to make a list of up and coming due dates, and get started right away. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you are done something, when everyone else is scratching to make a deadline.

For me, I make a monthly schedule, of what I want to accomplish, by priority. I take 15-20 index cards, put a hole in each  one of them, and tie a string to hold them tight. I often check my dates and make sure I am on schedule. I see priority and needs and attack those ideas first. Life is a party, you will always have time for that. Friends will understand if they are true friends. Everyone else doesn’t matter.

Conclusion

September is the start of a new year. It is not quite, champagne and balloons yet, but it represents a new beginning. Every September students and professionals go back to the grind. Don’t be that person who, talks about doing things and never get’s it done. We all talk about this person and often fall in the same category at times. Put your words into action and do what it takes to be a head. What are you going to do to make this “new”year better than any other year?

As years go by, you will slowly understand the preparation, both mentally and physically to start fresh, and get off to a good start. The only people I know that can start poorly and still win are Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Muhammad Ali. I guess and a few others. Once you get on their laugh, you’ll have nothing to worry about 😉

Start the grind early!

In the mean time, continue to #BeAwesome

BeAwesome: Death of the Cell Phone

Death of the Cellphone

There are some of you, who, if you give up your cellphone, you will be successful- Eric Thomas

ItsNotThatImportant

ItsNotThatImportant

This is an honest statement “I love my cellphone”. I check emails. I use text messaging. I read Ibooks. I surf the net. I do a lot on my phone. Rule number one #ADMIT IT. It is the first or second thing I check in the morning. I use it for an alarm. I touch it. I watch videos. I check stats. And creep facebook once in a while. A cellphone is a hand-held computer. Computers will know longer be used in the near future. Everything will be shaped and designed like a cellphone. (You heard it here first)

WHY IS A CELL PHONE IMPORTANT

Of course the cellphone has a variety of benefits (See list below). Easy to contact a friend or a family members. Quick searching of the internet. Easy to access information and banking.  Videos. Stats. And pictures. All at your fingers tips. It is a great source. It is a great invention.

 

Benefits of a cellphone:

 Safety

Mobility

Entertainment

Music Player

Camera

GPS

Now. The reality of this is that cell-phones is ultimately stopping you from working and presenting your very best. Every second. Minute. Hour. You spend on your phone. Someone else is getting ahead of you. Someone else has found a way to separate his or herself from their cellphone. The benefits of this are enormous (See #DEATHOFTHECELLPHONE) and the amount of focus and real life work being done increases 100%. When you say you love something. Or better yet. You feel passionate about it. You begin to dream it. Sleep it. And wake up in it everyday. You think you’re really dedicated. You think you are trying really hard. And then your phone rings…

If I wrote a blog about how much I never use my cellphone. I would be liar. If I told you I never checked emails or text messages. I would be a liar as well.I love my cell phone. It is something I use on a daily basis. But I am most efficient when my phone is put away and my mind is focused on my goals and dreams. Cellphones are not going out of style. They are still very popular. But they are one thing that is keeping you from being the most successful person you can be today.

Phone

Phone

 

DEATHOFTHECELLPHONE

If you want to get beat in a race or scored on during the last second of the game. Continue to use your cellphone, every minute and hour of the day. Today, the cellphone is more than cellphone in our lives. It is something that controls our actions and movements on a day-to-day basis. It is a consistent excuse for us to not work and give 100% during a task. It is a distraction during a test or an exam. It is the reason your C+ will never be a B+. Your B+ will never be an A+. But your cellphone down and give your undivided attention to what it is you are trying to focus on.

When this tool (the cellphone) is out of your way, you are free of all distractions. That is right. You are free. When you are able to go hours without looking at your phone, you are committing your self to what you really think is important. Not a message to a friend. How are you doing? What are you doing this weekend? The common message and alert on your phone is not an emergency. It is not something you have to, or must respond to right away. A cellphone is that, a distraction for you and your friends. It keeps you unmotivated. And further away from your dreams. You may not want to hear this but. It is a consistent excuse for you not to work hard.

ReadTheDifference

ReadTheDifference

When trying to reach are maximum amount of potential. Climbing the highest mountain. Overcoming difficult odds. Breaking stereotypes. And fighting against the norm. The cellphone is not going to do the work for you. If you want to be fully committed, put it down. Some of you can’t put it down for 2 minutes. Some of you have it attached to your waist. The cellphone is not only stopping our dreams. It is hindering out way of conversation. Our speaking and language. Our personal approach to situations. We can hide behind emails and text messages. But we cannot hide behind the person we see in the mirror.

Some people will not put their cellphones down in light of having a good future. Think about the moments you have and what is going to help you go forward. Every second you have is precious. Every minute you waste is gone. You cannot get that back. Put it down. DeathoftheCellPhone

-BeAWESOME

BeAwesome: #309 Selfish

BeAwesome: #308 Selfish

Sometimes you need to be selfish enough to believe that you deserve an equal chance at success..

vintage-selfish

ChooseYou

Sometimes we have to look out for ourselves. Being nice. Allowing other people to be apart of your life. Making friends. This is an essential part of living life to the fullest. But there will come a time in your life that you have to do something FOR you. Being selfish does not mean. Shutting others out of your life. It does not mean. That you have to stop caring. Or being responsible. It means. Doing something because you want to do it. And being proud of that achievement or accomplishment while doing so. It is that simple. A little selfishness can be a good thing.

I remember when I use to play basketball (Still got a little left in me). All of my coaches use to remind me about being selfish. Why? Well I was a passer. I loved to set others up for the score. It was a passion. Something I enjoyed doing. At the same time, I noticed that is was starting to become un-beneficial at times during the process. You know. Trying to please everyone. Is not possible.

After a while I started putting these traits into my real life. I was a helper. I always wanted to help others and be there for them. I’d do anything for a friend if I could. I’d be there. And a lot of my friends know that. It was something about seeing others smile. And helping them through a situation they needed help with that really got to me. I still do not understand what it is. But it is still there.

BEMORESELFISH

I have a hard time saying no. I usually say yes. Even if I no I really do not want to. It is a bad habit. It is something I continue to work on to this day. But one thing that stood out for me throughout the course of my life, is that no matter how much you try, and help others, you will always remain responsible for what you do and the reasoning behind it. So what do you do to be more selfish?

  • Take more responsibility into the commitments you make with other people. Do you really want to go to dinner? Do you really like that tv show? Be responsible for what happens next. Stop allowing others to do it for you.

 

  • Say what is on your mind. Be careful, but if you really want to say something say it. People will never know unless the hear it or physically see it

 

  • Care about yourself. Take the time out to enjoy you. Do things you like once in a while. Encourage others to do things you like or are interested in.
ItsUpToYou

ItsUpToYou

  • Figure out how to say no. If you disagree with something, let the person or individuals know “right away” . The worst feeling is allowing something to go on and on, knowing you do not want to be involved what so ever.

 

  • Enjoy something you like. Do it and talk about it. If this is what makes you happy. This is what you should be doing. No break for in-between hard work.

BEAWESOME

Those who are AWESOME are selfish. We love our friends and family. But. Understand some things need to be done on our own.

-BeAwesome

BeAwesome: #296 Alive

296. Alive

 Every day is a good day to be alive, whether the sun’s shining or not- Marty Robbins 

YouAreAlive

YouAreAlive

PERDAY

If you are looking for a reason to be happy. I am going to give you the simplest most important reason you’ve ever heard of today. You may think it is silly. Or not that important but. The statistics and thoughts about life can really put things into perspective for you. We live in a world that is full of different people. Environments. Food. You name it. Our interacts with all of these different forms and things. Cause a passing. Things happen. We grow up. Some of us have different plans that we cannot control. But we need to start being thankful. And more grateful. For simply being Alive. Of course some of us are sick. Or some of us do not live the best and most glorious life. But over 6,000,000,000 people passed last year because of health issues. This is not counting other causes. If you are ALIVE today you are blessed. You are privileged to stand on the ground you walk. Some of us forget how time flies. On average  151,600 people pass each day. As a society we need to start taking better care of ourselves and understanding the importance. And happiness for simply being Alive.

ALIVE

Living, not dead. Continuing in existence. Keeping hope alive. Quick. Living. Brisk. When we talk about being alive. We talk about having a life. Really existing in this world. Wanting to be aware. Filled with living things. Taking a moment or second for granted is what we are used to doing. Until suddenly it happens. And you have little time lift. And you’ve wasted it on. Things and outcomes you really do not care about. Take life. And be alive in it. Understand and believe what you are doing is going to benefit you in the future. Breathe the air you walk through. Love the life you’ve been given. And cherish the people around you. In the blink of an eye it can be taken from you. So enjoy it. Again. Be Alive in it.

ReallyThough..

ReallyThough..

BEAWESOME

Those who are AWESOME are alive. Never take for granted a second of the day. We have fun but at the same time understand/trying to understand our meaning and purpose for being here. The only way the world is going to become a better place is if we find what we love, be nice to people and believe in ourselves. If you are reading this post. You are Alive

-BeAwesome