If I was your Bestfriend, I’d want you Round All the Time

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Do you currently have a best friend? Or someone you know you can depend on when times get tough, need a laugh or share a secret? If you want to find someone, most people have to wait or build  years of trust, commitment and understanding before this title is given. Best friends don’t magically appear in thin air (do they?). They usually come unexpected and are built on experiences you go through together.

How do you find a best friend?

What qualities do you look for?

Most children by the age of 3-5, according to AboutOurKids.com have developed an imaginary friend. Why are imaginary friends good? Well they usually do what ever you want, never talk back and disappear upon request. They also prepare you for when a “real” friend comes a long. If you have never had a best friend, practice with an imagery friend. Best friends talk back!

Finding the Right Person

It is not easy to find someone you enjoy being around, enjoy talking to and don’t mind telling stories to. Some of these experiences, that you cherish are not meant for “just” anyone. You want to share them with people you care about (just a little bit more than everyone else). Finding the right person is often the part most people don’t understand. 1. You can’t make someone into your best friend & 2. Don’t pressure them into doing so.

I have 4 really good friends. These are people I’ve shared experiences, stories and secrets with. They understand me because we’ve gone through most of these experiences together. We’ve bonded and created a trust that is unspoken. Years of ups and downs, and experiences that relied on trust and commitment have passed, and the outcome is people who I consider “best friends”.

I didn’t go looking for these people. And they didn’t go looking for me either. I strongly believe “best friends” just happen. It isn’t something you can’t sign up for, unless you’ve seen bestfriendmatch.com, a place supposedly that allows you to find your best friend. Pretty dumb if you ask me. Either way, it is going to take a lot of work to find this individual(s).

Where do I look?

Before you go out on a wild goose chase, look right in front of you. Give someone a chance to be a part of your life. And if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for, kindly show them by giving them less information and spending less time with them. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it simply means you have other things to do, and that person “should” understand that. You have every right to pick and choose who you want to share information with, or allow to enter your life (on a personal level). Never allow anyone to pressure you into doing so.

 Often people who are best friends have a variety of things in common. And sometimes they are total opposite. You can’t go walking in the park thinking you are going to find the perfect friend because you love parks. Does that make sense? No. You have to simply enjoy every encounter, and if you feel there is potential, open up a little and slowly build the trust and commitment you are looking for. WARNING: Blowing the doors off a conversation is a big no, no.  What is blowing the doors off? Giving too much personal information when not needed or asked.

What Happens When I Think They Are the One

Umm. How about ask them? May sound a little silly, but why not? At least you’ll know for sure. If they haven’t popped the question, why can’t you. The worst thing they can say is no right? Some people are too perfect to ask, will you be my friend? Better yet, will you be my best friend? When you are older it is a lot more difficult. When you are younger, you have no idea what you are doing anyways, and you could care less about the results because eventually someone will (hopefully) say yes.

Slowly give information to this individual and (IF) they share back, you have potential right away. If they do not, back off a little and see what they say next. If you still see potential, ask them a question and see if they tell you a sincere answer. If they do not, maybe they need a little more time with you to open up. Or maybe they are not the right person. Note: You can’t share information and expect information to be shared back. Most people don’t operate that way. And remember,  YOU are volunteering to share information, they never asked you to do so.

Take it slow, and ride it out. Be careful with your questions and see how they respond:

Sample questions you could use:

1. Do you have brothers or sisters?/Follow up question: What do they do for a living?

2. What do you like to do for fun? /Follow up question: Do you prefer to do this with friends or alone and why?

3. Who is the most important person in your life? Follow up question: Why?

Use this to get a feel for who the person is, and what they value in a person.

How do I ask a FRIEND out?

say-ernie-would-you-like-some-ice-cream-sherbert

You’ve finally built a relationship with your new friend and you are bored. You want to ask them to do something and you have no idea what you want to do. Before anything, friendship stuff is never usually planned. The first 2 or 3 outings are usually organized really well between the two of you. Everything else after turns into a “your going with me right?” or “I need you to come with me”. And that is what you want it to be like. Unfortunately, you end up doing things you additionally do not want to do, but more often than not you have a good time, and your friend appreciates you a little more for coming with them.

If you are looking for ideas with your new best friend here are some options:

1. Simply hang out and watch re-runs of old television shows

2. Eat ice cream/Order food and gossip (Gossip is bad, but builds relationships)

3. Make pretend you have to go on an errand to the mall or to the grocery store

4. Help babysit a little sister/brother/or animal (dogs are cute)

5. Make pretend you need help fixing something, but have it fixed before they come, offer to stay for a cup of tea or hot chocolate

Conclusion

Best friends can’t be packed and delivered to your front doorstep. If you think you can turn someone into that person you are creating a fire that is going to be very difficult to put out. Give others the time to breathe and make a decision on their own. The best friends are found through experience or surprise. Some people find friends instantly and some people need time. If you honour every conversation and interaction you have with new people, you will slowly see who you want to become closer with. With that, you have to understand that everyone you feel connected with, may not necessarily feel the same way about you. Either way, that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.

Do you have another way of making friends? How do you know someone is going to be a BFF? Contact use through Twitter: @BeAwesomenow_ca or Facebook: BeAwesomenow . We’d love to hear your response!

Until next time!

#BeAwesome

How to Survive the First Month of School

first-day-of-school

Is your first day of school coming up? Are you wondering what your new teacher is going to be like? What pair of nikes you are going to use to sway new friends? What parties and exams are you going to skip or make a priority? What sport teams are you going to watch or try out for? How close is the nearest grocery store, and can I make it in my slippers?

It is about that time of the year again, back to school! For me, that means new kids, new parents, and new desire to inspire young minds to believe in themselves and be nice to one another. The summer is gone, and it is back to the grind in the classroom for many of us around the world.

 

Let’s talk about September

What are the main concerns of an elementary student? 1. Is my teacher going to be nice 2. What do I have for recess? When I was little, every year I would wonder if my teacher was going to be nice, or if I had to watch out for the Big Bad Wolf, or did mom pack my Dunkaroos, or will I have to trade my sandwich with another classmate. As we get older, these thoughts continue to run through our heads, only in slightly different context. 1. Will I meet new friends or like my boss/or professor 2. I should have ate breakfast today/I need to pack a lunch.

September is crucial to your survival in your new setting. The first month will separate the men from the boys. The women from the girls. Your idea and perception of your new setting and experience will be fresh. Your ears will be alert and your mind and body will be focused on the task at hand. But for how long? Some of us will be entering a new school. Some of us will be going back to a similar setting after the summer holidays. Either way, September is the start of the “new” year. How do you have a great start?

 

The First Impression is Key

Don’t show up to school in hammy down’s aka hand me down’s. I am not saying go out and buy the most expensive pair of shoes or t-shirt, I am saying take care of your self and look presentable. Carol Goman writes, “that moment that stranger sees you, his or her brain makes thousands of computations: Are you someone to approach or to avoid? Are you friend or foe? Do you have status and authority? Are your trustworthy, competent, likeable, confident?

 The decision of others and whether or not they will like or even deal with you are made quickly (7 seconds). Leave a great impression and you are well  on your way to an excellent week during the first month of school. Say hello to your collages. Shake the hand of your professor or teacher. Really mean what you say when talking to new people. Do the little things that count. Put in the work early and everything else is smooth sailing!

 Keep smiling

monkey_smiling

Being a teacher, I understand what it feels like to be exhausted from smiling and shaking hands with people you typically have nothing in common with or have know desire to be long-time friends with (sounds cruel but it is true). You can’t be best friends with everyone BUT you can be a great acquaintance. People can love to be around you even though they never see you.  Just keep smiling, just keep smiling, just keep smiling, smiling, smiling. Know one said you had to be everyone’s bestie on the first day. Smile, be polite and shake hands with everyone (use sanitizer often). This again, goes with your first impression. People will always remember your first encounter. This will set you up for easier interactions down the road.

Stay ahead of the Game

In my first year of university (for lack of better word) I sucked! I flat-out didn’t know what was doing, decided to watch sports instead of study, went for walks instead of reading and ate cereal to distract me from assignments. To often we allow ourselves to fall behind. We overlook what is ahead of us, and hope that it will magically complete itself the night before

Surviving September is about Staying a head of the Game. Sure, your friends will want to party. Your boyfriend will want to cuddle. Your friends will want to hangout and chat it up, talk about stuff you necessarily do not want to talk about anyway. Than don’t do it! When you are given an assignment, start it. You don’t have to finish it, but at least look and see what you have to do to complete it. A lesson plan, prepare for the week. Heck, prepare for the month if you have the time. A project to fulfill, do the research. Get the resources and be ready to produce some quality work.

Make a list of priorities and “at least”get started before the week that they are due. We all know what it feels like when Wednesday comes along, and you have a 4000 word essay due on Auscultation and Bromhidrosis by Thursday. Yeah, I don’t know what they mean either.

Don’t allow yourself to get in this position. Force yourself to make a list of up and coming due dates, and get started right away. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you are done something, when everyone else is scratching to make a deadline.

For me, I make a monthly schedule, of what I want to accomplish, by priority. I take 15-20 index cards, put a hole in each  one of them, and tie a string to hold them tight. I often check my dates and make sure I am on schedule. I see priority and needs and attack those ideas first. Life is a party, you will always have time for that. Friends will understand if they are true friends. Everyone else doesn’t matter.

Conclusion

September is the start of a new year. It is not quite, champagne and balloons yet, but it represents a new beginning. Every September students and professionals go back to the grind. Don’t be that person who, talks about doing things and never get’s it done. We all talk about this person and often fall in the same category at times. Put your words into action and do what it takes to be a head. What are you going to do to make this “new”year better than any other year?

As years go by, you will slowly understand the preparation, both mentally and physically to start fresh, and get off to a good start. The only people I know that can start poorly and still win are Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Muhammad Ali. I guess and a few others. Once you get on their laugh, you’ll have nothing to worry about 😉

Start the grind early!

In the mean time, continue to #BeAwesome

Be Awesome Africa Day 1 Results

Hey everyone,

Day one is in the books and Be Awesome Africa is  underway !

Our goal for week one:

Facebook storm!

What we want to do with week one is shower the largest social media network in the world with post, re-post, statues and private messages about our campaign! It is still very early in regards to where we are in funds and publicity, but we believe that Facebook Storm will be a large part of our success. This week up until next Wednesday, the facebook team will post like crazy, and message as many of our friends about Be Awesome Africa.

What can you do? We ask that you do the same. You may not want to get to crazy (it can get annoying for most people) but a private message is better than a direct link on someone’s wall (Unless you are comfortable doing do). Copy the link: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/be-awesome-africa/x/3442576?c=home and send it to all of your friends and family!

Contributions: Thank everyone who has funded our project on Day 1. Our project is 6% completed and we are so pumped about that! With lots of time left we are confident in reaching our final goal $27,993 !!!

Until next time!

#BeAwesome

Change is good :-)

I always enjoyed change. Whether it was trying something new in a restaurant or reading a new book, I’ve always embraced the not so common in my life. Last year I decided to teach in a foreign country, meet new friends and travel the world. For me, change has always brought the best out of me, and given me ways to learn more about myself.

Yes, it was completely out of the ordinary to move and teach in Kuwait. But if you stay with the status quo and do things that have been already been done, how will you create a legacy for yourself. If you are content with being similar to the person next to you, by any means continue to stay normal. If you ever want to be extraordinary, do things people think you can’t do.

When I think about change, I think about why I am doing it, and what I can get from it. From there, I think about whether or not this change is going to be good for me in the long run. Some people create drastic changes right away without doing the research first, or really thinking about their decision, which is fine but very risky and leaves no room for error.

Opportunities to change help your critical thinking skills. It demands deep thoughts and a rough sketch of your ideas. The changes in my life have allowed me to grow as a person, learn from my mistakes and begin to make decision on my own. Here are 3 reasons why change is good:

One: Change is an adventure

Adventure

I can definitely be the person to tell you that change is an adventure. It takes you outside of your comfort zone and makes you figure out things on your own. With that said, you do receive some help along the way, but for the most part, the final say goes through you. The idea of this adventure is to explore and see what is out there, what can you use from this experience to create a better you.

Two: Change is learning

LearningBlocks

Some people run from change. A regular way of living is to just go with the flow, allow things to happen, and simply do what ever you are asked. That said, change creates learning experiences that you can only receive on your own. At the end of the day, you need to be able to adjust when things are thrown at you from different angles. You are not always going to have someone to help you. You are not always going to have the pitch right down the middle. Change allows you to work on these skills and start doing things truly because you believe in them.

Three: Change is Opportunity

Opp

When I think about opportunities, and the possibilities of doing exactly what I want to do in life, I become overjoyed and excited for the changes that are about to happen once I pursue them. Opportunities come and go, the tricky part is deciding which one or two (or even three) you want to pursue and go with. Change allows you to explore these options. It opens many doors, and closes many as well.

Conclusion

You can probably think of a variety of reasons why change is good. The more you grow and explore, challenge yourself to do new things, you will realize the learning and growth that happens when you decide to make changes in your life. Ask questions and take risk. Be careful and mindful of your thoughts, and embrace difference.

4 Things I’ve Learned From Rocky

BeAwesome: #332 4 Things I’ve Learned From Rocky

MrT&TheRock

MrT&TheRock

Cause if you’re willing to go through all the battling you got to go through to get where you want to get, who’s got the right to stop you? I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do, something you never said to someone, something… and you’re told no, even after you paid your dues? Who’s got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody! It’s your right to listen to your gut, it ain’t nobody’s right to say no after you earned the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do!… You know, the older I get the more things I gotta leave behind, that’s life.

I am not a huge fan of movies. I try to catch a flick if the buzz is worthy. I try to look in on what the public is saying about a film. I also try to think for my overall interest and self when deciding what to watch or pay for. Ideally, I could care less about movies. But I do appreciate a good film that is well produced and directed.

Recently I’ve taken a time capsule into the 80’s-90’s, and found some of my all time favorite fighting movies. Now don’t get me wrong, I am far from a violent person, but do enjoy a good action film once in a while. I have to tell you the 80’s-90s are full of great films and actors.

Without any debate, I decided to watch Rocky II, which turned into Rocky III, which turned into Rocky IV (Sylvester Stallone). I was easily interested at the very beginning of Rocky II. The theme music and words of inspiration automatically hit my eyes and ears at first glance. I forgot about the hidden messages about love, heart ache and pain, the inspiration in following your dreams, working hard and being motivated. I forgot about a great film and production.

As I watched Rocky II, I started to think about the conversations he (Rocky) would have with the other co-stars during the film: Apollo Creed (Friend/Champion), Adrian (Girlfriend) & Mickey Goldmill (Trainer). These were individuals Rocky would always talk to/or about. If you really take in on the conversations and feelings that were played out during the film, you could start to think of the lessons to be learned from watching the film. I took in 3 Rocky films and this is what I learned from each relationship:

Creed&Rock

Creed&Rock

Rocky & Apollo Creed:

Rocky III: Nobody owes nobody nothin’. You owe yourself.

Besides from being the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World and given nicknames such as, The King of Sting, The Master of Disaster, The Prince of Punch, Mr. Creed played a vital role in Rocky’s success as a character (physically & mentally). If you watched the early years of Rocky, you know the underlining of these two characters. In short: Apollo beats Rocky in a spilt decision in Rocky I, and in Rocky II, Rocky win’s in knockout fashion. Through the two films (Particularly Rocky II) you start to see a sense of respect from each fighter. The hard work and dedication between two professional athletes show as they embrace in a fight that means so much more than a belt or a status.

Apollo retired from boxing after the fight, and credited Rocky for his work ethic and hard-fought battles. Balboa and Creed instantly became friends, and Creed decided to help Rocky win in Rocky III.

Friendships should never be taken for granted. You may fight with each other. You may knock each other down. You may even make each other bleed and feel really bad about one another, but even if these things happen, you must understand that friendships are built and created through fight and struggle. Friends hold together because of these experiences. Never lose a friend because of a silly fight. Always remember that the person, the human, the individual is more important.

Mickey&Rock

Mickey&Rock

Rocky & Mickey Goldmill

Rocky IV: Going in one more round when you don’t think you can – that’s what makes all the difference in your life.

Mickey managed a gym. Rocky was a regular face in his open space at the time at a local boxing club. From the very beginning, when know one thought Rocky would be anything, Mickey knew all along. He eventually, approached Rocky about being his manager. From day one, Mickey was Rocky’s number one supporter. Motivating him when he never thought he could do something. Pushing him to levels everyone else in the world thought he would never reach.

In Rocky III, Mickey becomes ill from a fall. Rocky loses a fight, and loses his mentor and father figure in Mickey. Later Rocky defeats his former opponent in respects to Mickey’s death.

The importance of having a mentor or someone who can guide/help you through life is important. You may think you are super (man or woman) but you are not. Even those with who have the greatest talent need guidance and help with their craft or journey. The art of listening to others and allowing others to speak is becoming non-existent. We think we can do it all by ourselves. Listening to others and taking criticism is a part of life. It is how we learn and become better people.  Having a mentor or someone you can talk to does not make you less of a person. It simply means you are open-minded and able to listen and apply suggestions from others.

Adrian&Rock

Adrian&Rock

Rocky & Adrian

Rocky IV: I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.

Adrian was a close friend of Rocky who simply worked at a pet shop. In Rocky II, Adrian and Rocky would tie the knot and marry. They had a son name Rocky Jr. Over the course of their relationship, they manage to overcome struggles together; Adrian’s pregnancy, Rocky’s fights and lavish life and many other decisions made together between the two.

In Rocky IV, Adrian became a source of stability for Rocky though she never enjoyed the act of fighting. She continued to support and encourage him to do well during each and every fight.

A relationship can mean a lot to an individual. It does not have to be intimate to be a successful relationship. Throughout life we need individuals to keep us grounded. Individuals who will tell us the things our friends and family are scared to say. Everyone needs a boy they can talk to. Everyone needs a girl they can speak with. Relationships are what you make them into. You have the power to make all relationships successful. Having people you can sincerely trust and rely on is important. It gives the person a sense of comfort when speaking or exploring ideas. A good friend is something everyone needs. If you want one, you should start by being one.

Rocky is about facing your fears and pushing yourself to the limit. Creating long-lasting relationships and understanding what it takes to be successful.

Inspiration from the #Rock:

-BeAwesome