If I was your Bestfriend, I’d want you Round All the Time

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Do you currently have a best friend? Or someone you know you can depend on when times get tough, need a laugh or share a secret? If you want to find someone, most people have to wait or build  years of trust, commitment and understanding before this title is given. Best friends don’t magically appear in thin air (do they?). They usually come unexpected and are built on experiences you go through together.

How do you find a best friend?

What qualities do you look for?

Most children by the age of 3-5, according to AboutOurKids.com have developed an imaginary friend. Why are imaginary friends good? Well they usually do what ever you want, never talk back and disappear upon request. They also prepare you for when a “real” friend comes a long. If you have never had a best friend, practice with an imagery friend. Best friends talk back!

Finding the Right Person

It is not easy to find someone you enjoy being around, enjoy talking to and don’t mind telling stories to. Some of these experiences, that you cherish are not meant for “just” anyone. You want to share them with people you care about (just a little bit more than everyone else). Finding the right person is often the part most people don’t understand. 1. You can’t make someone into your best friend & 2. Don’t pressure them into doing so.

I have 4 really good friends. These are people I’ve shared experiences, stories and secrets with. They understand me because we’ve gone through most of these experiences together. We’ve bonded and created a trust that is unspoken. Years of ups and downs, and experiences that relied on trust and commitment have passed, and the outcome is people who I consider “best friends”.

I didn’t go looking for these people. And they didn’t go looking for me either. I strongly believe “best friends” just happen. It isn’t something you can’t sign up for, unless you’ve seen bestfriendmatch.com, a place supposedly that allows you to find your best friend. Pretty dumb if you ask me. Either way, it is going to take a lot of work to find this individual(s).

Where do I look?

Before you go out on a wild goose chase, look right in front of you. Give someone a chance to be a part of your life. And if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for, kindly show them by giving them less information and spending less time with them. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it simply means you have other things to do, and that person “should” understand that. You have every right to pick and choose who you want to share information with, or allow to enter your life (on a personal level). Never allow anyone to pressure you into doing so.

 Often people who are best friends have a variety of things in common. And sometimes they are total opposite. You can’t go walking in the park thinking you are going to find the perfect friend because you love parks. Does that make sense? No. You have to simply enjoy every encounter, and if you feel there is potential, open up a little and slowly build the trust and commitment you are looking for. WARNING: Blowing the doors off a conversation is a big no, no.  What is blowing the doors off? Giving too much personal information when not needed or asked.

What Happens When I Think They Are the One

Umm. How about ask them? May sound a little silly, but why not? At least you’ll know for sure. If they haven’t popped the question, why can’t you. The worst thing they can say is no right? Some people are too perfect to ask, will you be my friend? Better yet, will you be my best friend? When you are older it is a lot more difficult. When you are younger, you have no idea what you are doing anyways, and you could care less about the results because eventually someone will (hopefully) say yes.

Slowly give information to this individual and (IF) they share back, you have potential right away. If they do not, back off a little and see what they say next. If you still see potential, ask them a question and see if they tell you a sincere answer. If they do not, maybe they need a little more time with you to open up. Or maybe they are not the right person. Note: You can’t share information and expect information to be shared back. Most people don’t operate that way. And remember,  YOU are volunteering to share information, they never asked you to do so.

Take it slow, and ride it out. Be careful with your questions and see how they respond:

Sample questions you could use:

1. Do you have brothers or sisters?/Follow up question: What do they do for a living?

2. What do you like to do for fun? /Follow up question: Do you prefer to do this with friends or alone and why?

3. Who is the most important person in your life? Follow up question: Why?

Use this to get a feel for who the person is, and what they value in a person.

How do I ask a FRIEND out?

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You’ve finally built a relationship with your new friend and you are bored. You want to ask them to do something and you have no idea what you want to do. Before anything, friendship stuff is never usually planned. The first 2 or 3 outings are usually organized really well between the two of you. Everything else after turns into a “your going with me right?” or “I need you to come with me”. And that is what you want it to be like. Unfortunately, you end up doing things you additionally do not want to do, but more often than not you have a good time, and your friend appreciates you a little more for coming with them.

If you are looking for ideas with your new best friend here are some options:

1. Simply hang out and watch re-runs of old television shows

2. Eat ice cream/Order food and gossip (Gossip is bad, but builds relationships)

3. Make pretend you have to go on an errand to the mall or to the grocery store

4. Help babysit a little sister/brother/or animal (dogs are cute)

5. Make pretend you need help fixing something, but have it fixed before they come, offer to stay for a cup of tea or hot chocolate

Conclusion

Best friends can’t be packed and delivered to your front doorstep. If you think you can turn someone into that person you are creating a fire that is going to be very difficult to put out. Give others the time to breathe and make a decision on their own. The best friends are found through experience or surprise. Some people find friends instantly and some people need time. If you honour every conversation and interaction you have with new people, you will slowly see who you want to become closer with. With that, you have to understand that everyone you feel connected with, may not necessarily feel the same way about you. Either way, that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.

Do you have another way of making friends? How do you know someone is going to be a BFF? Contact use through Twitter: @BeAwesomenow_ca or Facebook: BeAwesomenow . We’d love to hear your response!

Until next time!

#BeAwesome

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What I’ve Learned From Indiegogo, A Crowdfunding Platform to Raise Money

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Some of you may be late to the tea party, so here is an update: Be Awesome raised 10K with Indiegogo.com. 30% of our funds will go towards products and merchandise awarded to our backers. The other 70% will go towards Africa. This article will sum up my summer, campaign and future plans  with the movement.

Have you ever tried to Raise Money?

It took 4 months of thinking to figure out a fun way to raise money. I brainstormed ideas and thought about different concepts. I had no idea what to do.

We have all tried to raise money before. And if you are like myself, you understand that asking for money can be really hard and uncomfortable. How do you convince a stranger to support you? A smart idea, an easy concept and people who back you. Using  Indiegogo.com a fresh way to create a campaign, helped enormously in raising money and gaining global exposure!

How does Indiegogo work?

Indiegogo is an easy crowdfunding platform that ables others to donate funds easily. You create and idea or cause, describe it in detail, use images and or video to explain more and offer perks/rewards for your generous donors.

The most important part of creating an indiegogo campaign is a video and/or clear concept and idea. I was somewhat able to do this with my campaign: Be Awesome Africa . Our idea was to take 200+ t-shirts to a selected country in Africa. (My thoughts on this below)

Ups and Downs

After launching the campaign, I created time to sit down and really think about my idea. My mind started to wonder, “holy crap this idea is all wrong”. Why? Well why would you send 200+ t-shirts to a third-world country? I started to do a little research and ran across this article: The 7 Worst International Aid Ideas. As I scrolled down my heart skipped a beat and I see at number one 1. One million t-shirts for Africa. Was I shocked, not even a little.

Now usually number one is a good thing, but in this case it was not good at all. My idea and thoughts rapidly changed and my concept to take t-shirts to Africa (though my heart was in the right place) was entirely wrong. Sure I do believe these shirts can help others become motivated and live a happy life. I also believe they have the ability to make others follow their dreams as well. Did I plan to take 1 million like the company in the article above? No. But the point is, these countries need more than t-shirts.

Having the opportunity to speak with NGOS that are based in third world countries I started to realize my excitement overshadowed a bigger purpose. Like all people, I made a mistake. I quickly went to indiegogo and updated my message, telling everyone my new plan: To raised money to take a limited amount of t-shirts and use the rest to support families and groups in need. Such a relief.

How did I find support?

It was very challenging to find people to support my cause. I was extremely lucky to have really good friends and family members that helped out a lot. After thousands of tweets and facebook post and messages (Sorry) I continued to find support from everyone. I reached out to a number of newspapers and television stations, unfortunately I was unsuccessful. Finding publicity  is extremely important when trying to run a campaign. Television and newspapers only amplify the buzz and word of mouth about your product or campaign.

What I would have done differently

Research, research, research! It is so important to have a solid idea and concept before running a campaign. Talk to friends about it, share it with family, and do some serious research on how it is going to make the world a better place. If could change anything about my campaign it would be my pitch (main focus) and products. Though my products were good, I would offered less to keep orders less confusing.

What’s next for Be Awesome?

I have two goals by 2014. 1. Visit Rwanda and volunteer with children and families 2.  Be Awesome website up and running.

On October 8th-18th I will be traveling to Rwanda. Myself and a friend will be visiting local families and helping a local NGO: GraceRwanda with a variety of activities. We will spend our nights with a local family, explore and visit with a youth group and learn cultural and historic values with a women’s group from a local church. Once our schedule is confirm I will gladly post it online so you can keep track of our journey.

The website is coming (I Promise). I have been working with some  awesome designers and some new ideas and concepts to bring the Be Awesome idea a new taste. I am excited to show you what we’ve come up with. My idea is to launch before the end of November. More details about this will come later.

PS: Keep real friends close, be careful with everyone else..

Until Next Time,

Thanks again for all of the support!

Continue to #BeAwesome and give as much as you can!

I’m outta hurr!

Peace

 

BeAwesome: #133 Say

BeAwesome: #133 Say

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony- Mahatma Gandhi 

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I guess it can be hard to say what you want. Sometimes this task is not called for. Sometimes it demands a specific place, time or situation. Sometimes you are not in the right place to do so. But if you had the opportunity would you? Say what is on your mind, so that headache and familiar stomach ache would go away. The feel of relief and or weight so easily taken off your shoulders by a paragraph or an expression you have bundled up in your mind. Everyone understands what it feels like to be told something, and not being able to reply. Or simply not replying because you hate conflict or are unwilling to express the way you really feel about a topic or subject. Not many of us like confutation. Mine you, I do know a select few who enjoy the battle. But say what is on your mind. Express a given thought or opinion about something. Enjoy what you say. Be passionate about the words you speak and how you say it. Be confident. Those who are AWESOME say what is on their mind. We can only hold on for so long without expressing our thoughts or great feeling about something we care deeply about. We express. We speak. We say. Say

-BeAwesome